Our school tours started on Wednesday. In honour of that and the fact that I am done giving pony rides (for good!), I here present some of the funny, amusing things kids say on a daily basis. These aren't even all the best ones. We can entertain a livingroom-full of farm people for hours with the stories.
2012
Kid: How, how, how, how do the cows put on their party hats?
Kid: Mr. Faaaarmer, that cat is absolutely gorgeous.
Kid (about Takis): Mom, look! It's a baby farmer!
Kid: How do you get the meat out of the animal without hurting it?
2014
A Mom: Look, Sally! This girl has long hair, just like Elsa! (to me) Did you get the two braids idea from Frozen?
I said: No.
I thought: Two braids were around long before Frozen!
Kids: Farmer, there's a cat up there!
Me: Yeah, that's o—
Kids: And it's frozen!
Me: Uh-oh.
2015
Kid: Are you a farmer?
Me: Yes. Do I look like one?
Kid: No. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Me: Five.
Kid: How many brothers?
Me: Three.
Kid: How many sisters?
Me: Two. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Kid: I have one brother and two Boston Terriers.
Me: That's no fair! If we're counting dogs, I'm way up on you.
Kid: How many dogs do you have?
Me: Two. No, three. I mean, four. Actually, seven. (I thought: guard dogs, then add rosie, he probably meant puppies, altogether)
Kid: Do you live here?
Me: Yes. I live in the big grey house back at the yard.
Kid: What do you do when you go inside your house?
Me: Oh, the same things you do. We eat our meals in there, we sleep in there—all our beds are in there.
Kid: When I go in my house, I take off my shoes, remove my backpack, and watch TV.
A lady came up to me in the afternoon and asked, “Is this yours?” All she was holding was a baby and I got pretty scared. But then she said, “Like, do you live here?” Oh. Is the farm mine.
Kid: Blizzard is my second favourite colour!
Me: What's your first favourite?
Kid: Black.
2016
Kid: I lost my puff of sheep!
Kid: Oh! This feels like it's fun!
Kid (holding my hand): There's another girl over there and she has a hand open, Jasmine.
Kid (on the horse): Hey Dad! This is like real live minecraft!
Mom: The chickies always put themselves to bed.
Kid: Do they even read their own story? <this kid's mother is unfairly advantaging him.
Kid: I hate that goat. He scares the beeswax out of me.
Me (lazily): You have beeswax in you?
Kid (annoyed): No; it's an expression.
Kid: Oh, sandbox! I love that in computer games!
2018
Kid: But don't send that picture of me holding the kitty to my Mom. She's allergic to cats.
I'll keep posting the funny ones from this year as they are said.
I've given about 28,000 pony rides. (Yes, I counted, but only for a week. The rest is estimation.) Every single ride was enjoyed, not necessarily by me. (But mostly!)
