In which I extract some passages from my various notebooks of the last few months and lay them at your feet.
January 13, 2021
There is something in me that still shudders at the thought of dying a martyr’s death - or any unnatural or premature one - and though I know the Lord will give me the strength to do as He calls, and only then, I think it is the same way we all feel about it - unnerved and repulsed somehow. Do not forget, Lord, how You felt when You faced death - and You had already experienced what lay beyond! How much more might we sweat, who have only vaguely and inaccurately imagined where we are going. And yet, Lord, give me the strength to face with Your joy all that You have in store for me.
I imagine heaven as not being much different from a joy-filled experience of earth. I would not have to be bumped 10 levels of happiness - in fact I think that would be uncomfortable. Our sweet daily life, minus the friction with each other and the pain of sin and the curse, plus the Lord’s presence, and what bliss we have just there! Put a bunch of believers in a colonial setting and I’m happy - and that’s here on this earth. Now, I know heaven isn’t primarily about making us happy, but I don’t feel as though I need to reach a new threshold of ecstasy - clearheaded contentment is eternal bliss.
January 21, 2021
Judges 7:13 - Lord, let me be a loaf of barley bread in Your hand - a common and ordinary thing, not apparently remarkable except for the fact that it gives essential life and vigor to all that interact with it. Then it is the instrument used by the Lord to put the first inkling of His victory into the minds of two. That inkling caused the defeat of the whole Midianite Army.
A loaf of barley bread, Lord.
March 13, 2021
1 Samuel 31:11, 2 Samuel 2:5 - The Jabeshites must have quailed at some point, thinking it was a duty but a thankless one, yet they persevered and forsook home and family, expending their scant resources in the difficult accomplishment of a man’s and a soldier’s duty. They rose to the occasion without hesitation and then followed all the way through, their conviction of the rightness of the task sustaining them when fatigue overwhelmed their initial anger and passion. Valiant men!
March 18, 2021
2 Samuel 11:27 - 12:1 - A supreme example of God chastening those who love Him best, like a violin teacher being hardest on the students with the most potential. He does not let His faithful servant get away with or continue in sin that goes seemingly unnoticed in the unbeliever or casual Christian.
March 25, 2021
2 Samuel 17:23 - Ahithophel had a coddled temper - used always to getting his way - so when he was crossed (maybe for the first time in his life) he couldn't handle it, and threw a fit, like a tennis player.
I have expounded before what my feelings are about the Absolam story, so I need not reiterate - what I will say is how much I love the every-day detail in 2 Samuel 18. Walls, gates, chambers, recognizing someone by their running, hair, mules, etc.
2 Samuel 19:5-7 - I can’t decide if Joab is a good man with serious flaws, or a corrupt man loyal to the “right” side. My reactive tendency is to say that he caused David more harm than good, yet he must have been a brilliant military commander, for he led David’s army overall very well. Certainly he had a bold temper, was not patient, forgiving, or understanding, and defended himself to the last, but he could also act with a great deal of shrewd insight, typical of a smart, knowing, and caring close friend.
April 1, 2021
2 Samuel 22:15 - Imagine your terror on the Lord starting to help out in a battle using lightning bolts. To see that amount of power used with such intention by One so holy! But then say with David, “He delivered me,” - how elated would you be then! David certainly seems pretty sure of his own merit.
April 6, 2021
Present Concerns by C.S. Lewis arrived in the mail, and I just pondered through “The Necessity of Chivalry”. His definition of chivalry is an intriguing and inspiring one: the image of Sir Lancelot, meek and gentle in company, fierce and dangerous among foes. My passion for chivalry has been quashed somewhat by today’s feminist society, and the unlikelihood of finding it in any routine situation. By habit I forget to do all in my power to encourage it, but every time someone, usually an older man I don’t know, holds the door or shows chivalrous deference in some way, the spark reignites in my breast and I resolve once again to retain hope in the glorious ideal.
Lewis’ point about both sides of the chivalrous character being necessary (and this goes for boys and girls alike) makes me think that to raise chivalrous children one must allow them to face hardship and adversity, and teach them to rise to it with as much grace and gallantry as they carry bags and open doors.
Strong in Spirit tossed me the vision to treat the 5 - 12 years like a bootcamp, and curate greater and greater challenges for them to overcome. As they grow in confidence their physical and emotional prowess translates into wisdom and responsibility through wide and repeated experience of the world.